On goals

I had a really interesting discussion this afternoon about goals, and the things that we all (generally) focus on, versus the wiser things to focus on.

It started with a discussion on writing – there are lots of books about inspiration, plot, character development, about getting going, about developing good habits.  Where there seems to be a gap is in editing and revision – the finishing and completing - yet that’s the part that it’s hardest to get excited about.  So we wondered for a while why that was.  It’s certainly not as interesting or compelling – especially when there’s a new idea bouncing up and down vying for your attention.  Yet we are told that ‘first drafts are rubbish’ and met a successful writer last week whose book went through 14 drafts.  We're aware that there's graft to be done, but there's little help out there in calibrating our expectations, or building our skills to get on and do it.

There’s a parallel with weight loss – there is lots of focus on reaching a target weight, but relatively little about maintaining it.  Some cynical part of me wonders if it’s that there’s a bigger market in the ‘reaching a goal’ category than the ‘maintenance’ one?  And actually if we focussed more on finishing and maintaining, there’d be less need for the ‘reaching a goal’ resources?  Would there be an impact on how much people spent on weddings if their focus was instead on how to maintain a healthy and successful relationship, with the wedding celebration as a milestone, not the peak?

The discussion certainly made me think about long-term goals, and how maybe the euphoria that comes with reaching an ‘end point’ might make carrying on or finishing off even more difficult.  Perhaps if you view your goal as part of a long-term vision about how you want your life to be, attaining and then sustaining it would be easier?

Also seems like there’s a gap in the market, aspiring self-help book writers! 

Nobody asks

As I’ve mentioned before, I have been getting some feedback on my writing from friends and my mentor, who is the brilliant Maggie Sullivan.  I promised to share with you some writing, and I am going to do that now - some before and after stuff – so you can see where and how changes have been made and maybe give me your thoughts on them?

As you will know from previous posts, I am completely new to poetry – even reading it, so it is no surprise at all that a large part of my feedback has been about structure.  In writing and rewriting, I am ok with words, subjects, trying to pin down whatever it is I have decided to try and say.  When it comes to how it’s flows – where you punctuate, why you start a new paragraph, how many lines to use – I have no idea.  Along with not having enough experience of reading it, I don’t think it’s something I am good at intuiting.  So I need to work on that.

Another piece of useful feedback from Maggie was about not over-explaining things.  I think that’s good advice in general.  It was interesting as I’d just got back from Birdman and been reminded of the brilliance of Raymond Carver and in my inbox was an e-mail referring to his writing style – ‘get in, get out, don’t linger’.  That’s definitely something to work on.

This first poem will be familiar to my postal correspondents.  It’s the very first thing I wrote for the class and seemed to get a lot of positive response.  It was based on a story that I was by a friend steadfastly ignoring some attention seeking behaviour from a colleague – I’ve since spoke to who I thought told me that and it turns out they didn’t.  Most odd.  Anyway, I am going to post my version and then the edited version.

If they ask

If they ask, I’ll tell them it was my mothers

“She died recently, I like having her things around me”

Or maybe I’ll say ‘its nobody else’s business” and run

And they’ll follow and I can show them where it hurts

If they ask, I’ll say “wouldn’t you like to know?”

And I’ll wink, and we’ll laugh and go to lunch

Or maybe I’ll tell them about my brother

On remand now and the charges are mounting

All I’ve got left and I don’t want him

I sit and I wait, ready at last

But nothing has changed

Nobody asks

If they ask

I'll tell them it was my mothers

"She died recently, I like having her things around me"

Or, maybe "it's nobody else's business" and run

They'll follow and I can show them where it hurts.

If they ask, say "wouldn't you like to know?"

and wink, We'll laugh and go to lunch.

Or maybe I'll tell them about my brother

on remand now, charges mounting

All I've got left and I don't want him.

I sit, wait, ready at last.

Nobody asks.

The things I like about the editing of this one: it’s much more efficient (the removal of the I’lls and conjunction, plus there’s no longer the repetition at the beginning) and I think the space works – the ‘nothing has changed’ being implied.  The gap feels more like a beat, or a breath.

There are suggested edits to others, too, but I am conscious that this has become quite a long post already.  What do you think?  Which one do you prefer (if any)?

I’ll write another post about the other poem I’ve sent out to people – the night journey.  It was a bit of a mess, but I really liked some bits of it.  The suggested changes to that one are more drastic, which is necessary, though I am still mulling them over!  I start a new class tonight, so hopefully that will give me some more inspiration!

Soul Moon Ribcage

So I did it! I stood up and read my poems to people and managed to not die of embarrassment.  The showcase was great actually, it was so good to hear other people’s writing – a mixture of stories, poems and plays – some of them great and very funny.  Then a lot of wine was consumed (shock!) so I was more hungover than I’d have liked to be for the workshop with Buddy Wakefield in Portobello Library the following day.  I’ve never been there before, it’s really cute – a small but vibrant library with an upstairs meeting room.  On the back wall of the meeting room is a Town Mural, something I have only heard of existing before in Pawnee Indiana!  This one is much less offensive though.  I was a bit late so I missed Buddy Wakefield's introduction, and to be honest I’d not had a lot of experience of his work before.  I bought some books though, because I really liked him and what he said made a lot of sense.  I wasn’t disappointed, his stuff is really good – check him out!

I had a real lightbulb moment at the workshop (quite a feat considering my hungover state).  I’ve been in a class where I was expected to read out a bit of writing each week.  Despite my efforts in getting over myself, it was really hard to get rid of the sense that what you read out has to be ‘something’ – ‘something good’ even.  Hearing a successful writer say that even with writing every single day, he has one poem he considers good enough per month, was a bit of a reality check.  A lot of his focus was on performing, obviously not something I’ve done a lot of and I’m not overly drawn to.  His biggest piece of advice – I had my pen poised for this – was ‘don’t fake cry’.  I didn’t write that down.  Do people really do that?  Another bit that made me laugh, mostly because it’s what makes me cringe in writing, is use of clichés – and not all the ones you expect.  “Stop fucking with the moon” he said “and opening your ribcage” – I can think of a lot of these poetic sounding phrases that (for me) disconnect me with whatever the writer is trying to say.  Is that universal, or does that work for you?  Any that particularly rile you?

More has happened since the workshop – I have been appointed a fantastic Mentor through the WoMentoring Project, and some of my poems have gone through an editing process with her.  I am going to share some of the reworked stuff - some that my postal correspondents will be familiar with - in my next post.